|
|
Post by gx on Oct 14, 2019 18:14:07 GMT
I wouldn't normally post such a thing. Usually a decision emerges after some time, but after half of a week, Im still uncertain.
I post this here, should you care to amuse yourself with such trivialities.
Though quite similar, the melodic contour is different in certain ket spots.
The A version is a bit more dramatic, but my question is whether the first set up to the first cadence takes away some of the power of the climax that follows - near the end. Version B is more of a steady climb...
Looking to be swayed. And if a title hits you, I'm looking for that too.
The piece will probably be about another minute longer, gradually becoming more subdued.
Thanks for helping!!! I can now move on.
|
|
|
|
Post by Tim Marko on Oct 14, 2019 20:35:57 GMT
a; definitely has a stronger climax (I'm assuming your talking about 1:26) and is more dramatic.
b; feels more like the highpoint of the phrases arc, makes me think the climax is yet to come.
Depending on where you go with the piece from here, I think "a" would work if you want to continue the "downward direction". "b" feels like it's going to need one more push to a climax.
Just my observations fwiw.
|
|
|
|
Post by gx on Oct 14, 2019 23:32:46 GMT
Thank you, Tim. I see what you mean. I'm appreciative for your thoughts on this. I hadn't thought of extending the structure - as you suggest for version B. Interesting to think about.
Thanks for the feedback!
|
|
|
|
Post by driscollmusick on Oct 15, 2019 13:19:25 GMT
I like Option B more and I think it's actually because it has less of a climax and seems more organic. Maybe it's just me, but the arpeggio climax in A seems just a little bit out of character for the rest of the material, which is otherwise calm and deliberate. The piece is subtle and short, so maybe all you need for a climax is the right chord or a deliberate pause--it doesn't always have to be a dramatic change in dynamic. My $0.02!
My title suggestion is "Winter Walk" or something like that...
|
|
|
|
Post by Mike Hewer on Oct 15, 2019 13:34:25 GMT
Option b for me too, for similar reasons as John. the mood is more consistent in B for me and I prefer it without that big arpeggio too.
|
|
|
|
Post by gx on Oct 15, 2019 16:28:57 GMT
John, I too felt that the B had a more organic sense about it. My only reservation was that the 3rd melodic utterance in B (which didn't climb near as high as A), and was concerned that it held the attention perhaps a bit less, or was less attractive than A - at that spot. Also, what I really wanted at that arpeggio in A was a 4 against 3 rhythm, but I haven't yet introduced polyrhythms into the book - though that idea was going to be the Next object lesson.. (I did , however have the polyrhythm at that spot in B).
'Winter Walk' - very suitable. Thanks!
Mike, yes, that idea of consistency was being weighed out against 'drama'. And, ironically, perhaps B has more dramatic weight due to that consistency- holds together in a stronger way.
Thanks, so much guys for chiming in! I really appreciate it!
|
|
|
|
Post by Bob Porter on Oct 23, 2019 1:50:15 GMT
Wait. I missed this.
|
|
