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Post by Bob Porter on Jun 1, 2018 19:01:29 GMT
I'm playing around with adding a little more expression to my tracks. Cc control, note start and end are all controllable, but I haven't used any of those techniques here. As far as the title goes, the piece seems nostalgic to me. What could be more so than heading home after a long time away. soundcloud.com/user-737777673/going-home |
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Post by Dave Dexter on Jun 13, 2018 18:51:43 GMT
I must apologise for not replying sooner, and thank you for posting the first new music on here for a while! I like the melody - it's simple and evocative. I get some Beatles and Lennon vibes. Personally, the C-Am change at around 0.36 drops the piece out of the tonal pocket it establishes itself in so well, though it then returns. There's something to be said for going to an unexpected chord, but some of the best music ever written has achieved the distinction by going exactly where the audience hoped it would. I would cut some of the end of phrase chordal meandering to get back to the meat faster, at least at the start. It's not my music though, so you do you. I much enjoyed the dramatic middle section. I'm playing around with adding a little more expression to my tracks. Cc control, note start and end are all controllable, but I haven't used any of those techniques here. As far as the title goes, the piece seems nostalgic to me. What could be more so than heading home after a long time away. soundcloud.com/user-737777673/going-home |
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Post by Bob Porter on Jun 14, 2018 21:43:11 GMT
Thanks, Dave, for your input. I've re-worked those two measures. Probably one too many key changes, but I'm not worried yet. If I really do something with this piece, I'll probably work on that. I was mainly working on expression. soundcloud.com/user-737777673/going-home-dexter |
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Post by Tim Marko on Jun 16, 2018 21:22:46 GMT
Once gain you have created an enjoyable melody. (You're music always seems to have one).
My only thought is the build from about 2:00 feels a bit long and when it finally arrives at about 3:00, I felt a bit let down. The return to the original melody is well done.
Nice work Bob.
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Post by Bob Porter on Jun 17, 2018 23:08:11 GMT
Thanks Tim,
Agreed, the 2 to 3 minutes spot is a bit off. There are cascading inner voices that are lost in that section. It needs major re-working.
About melody. I don't really write melodies. Most folks write a melody and then start figuring out various accompaniments and other things to do with it. I write a few notes of what might be a melody, then maybe a bass line. Then based on where that line goes, I write some more melody. Then fill in the chords. In the end, rather than anything being an after-thought, everything is tied together and dependent on each other.
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Post by driscollmusick on Jun 18, 2018 12:23:22 GMT
Bob, I really liked this. I didn't even throw up once (which I know is your standard of compositional success). I do agree that there is something about that that B section that isn't quite working. I actually quite like the segue into it (starting at 2:05). It takes what has been straightforward music and suggests that there is a sort of hidden depth, now being revealed. But then it gets so profound and dramatic so quickly that it seems out of character and proportion. In particular, the modulations at 2:35 and then again at 2:44 do not seem earned. Instead of shortening it, I actually think you could take more time in the B section to develop the new material in a more organic way. Also, I find it touching that you wrote a piece about Dave Dexter returning home to this website.  |
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Post by fuguestate on Jun 19, 2018 20:22:17 GMT
Finally got around to this. Very nice melody indeed, as everyone else has said!
I really liked the beginning of your B section. It felt like a burst of emotion that gushes up from within upon returning home, a recollection, perhaps, of a hard day that has passed, or perhaps a memory of what home means. I actually liked the modulations you had... except that I think they came a little too fast without adequate preparation. I thought perhaps around the 2:50 mark you could lengthen the music in the same key for a little longer, before transitioning to the next one, and so on.
One trick I sometimes use is the gradual shortening of a series of passages, e.g., in this case, if you have a series of key changes, instead of making them all the same length, like a step-ladder, make each subsequent one slightly shorter, like an upward curve that eventually becomes a cliff face. Or, conversely, make the first few key changes proportionately longer, so that when the shorter subsequent ones start piling up, you build up to an intense climax.
Another trick is to delay the first transition by deliberately veering away from it the first time, then looping back to the passage leading up to it again, and only actually make the transition the second time. A sort of delayed climax. That could be something to try here, as a preparation for the series of modulations that move farther and farther away. Give the listener something more solid to anchor onto, before you cast them off into the deep blue beyond.
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Post by Bob Porter on Jun 19, 2018 23:49:08 GMT
Yup, the whole center section is a flop. I may keep certain ideas, but it needs to go.
Thanks for not throwing-up.
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Post by fuguestate on Jun 20, 2018 15:16:27 GMT
No, don't throw it out! I love those harmonic digressions. They just need to be pulled off with a little more finesse, that's all.
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Post by Bob Porter on Jun 20, 2018 18:39:49 GMT
Finesse?!
But I wack everything with a 5 pound sledge.
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Post by fuguestate on Jun 20, 2018 18:40:54 GMT
Even that takes finesse. |
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